A Tribute to My Best Friend

May 4, 2015, I laid in my bed, eyes open as week four of my insomnia took hold, as my spirit still tried to make sense of the events that occurred weeks before. Racing thoughts, exhausted body, damaged heart, I was only leaving my room to feed my face. When Ken was on the road, I didn’t bother doing much of anything. With shades closed time stood still as I cried, screamed, blamed and felt the light inside getting dimmer and dimmer, my spirit growing numb and cold. I needed to get out, take a drive maybe, that always seemed to help, let the Florida heat heal me.

I started driving, not really all that concerned about my destination when I saw it, “Pet Adoptions Today.” “OOO puppies,” I remember thinking, animals always made me feel better. I’ll just go look. With no job I was not really in the position to add a family member. I walked in the PetSmart, there were so many of them, all looking for a home. I walked around them, most of them barking, I was so distracted I almost missed her. Dark chocolate brown, white chest, with a black and white herringbone collar with a teal flower adorning her neck. She sat there scanning the area, not moving, not making a sound. I sat in the chair next to the volunteer who was caring for her as she glanced my direction and lightly licked my hand. “ She likes you” the volunteer said. “What’s her name?” “Jessie,” she replied. Our eyes met, her eyes in the light had this sparkling hue of honey and light brown and I saw myself in them. That look of deep hurt from before her rescue still lingered. That look of uneasiness, loss, and pain. The longing to trust again but the fear of disappointment and heartbreak lurking in the background. The uncertainty of the future but a glimmer of hope shining through. I think we saw that in each other and I knew that we would be linked forever.

Five years and a change in states later, she holds my heart. She knows when I need a distraction, bringing something for us the play with, the tug-o-war rope is her favorite, when I’ve had a bad day and extra cuddle time is needed. She’s a ball of energy, love, happiness, a protector and true friend above all else. She saved me when I though I couldn’t be, when I didn’t want to be . She gave me purpose when I felt I had none. She made me smile through the tears and rescued me. Happy Anniversary Jessie. Our lives have all been made fuller because of you.