About

It all started when…

Growing up, there were three things that allowed me to express my emotions in a somewhat constructive manner; my journal, music, and my dad. Over the years of pursuing my "life's goals," I had lost sight of what made me, ME. I went down roads commonly traveled in agnst and rebellion getting detoured by false promises, pretenses, and prospects, slipping deeper through the cracks of my own creation. Then I hit bottom, which I go into detail in my first post, and I knew my life would never be the same. Over the past 5 years, I have struggled with slowly losing my dad, my confidant, to early onset Alzheimers, weight loss/gain, depression/anxiety, and wholly losing myself in the process. And then a few months ago I hit a solitary moment of clarity and that has made all of the difference. I decided that I was going to claw my way out of the depths of the darkness and take steps, even if it was just getting out of bed every morning, towards finding who I truly am. I still have those days where I royally crash and burn, who doesn't, but I refuse to let my fire smolder to ash. I hope that through this exploration of self, I can reach others who I know are going through or have gone through similar situations. As someone said to me recently, this is going to be your Apollo 13 moment where you will make back from the dark side of the moon able to communicate with the world again. Well, I don't know if this will turn out to be that epic, but I am ready to stand in the light again.

Sincerely yours,

LPJ